Lifes getting boring for me...?

im getting really tired of my life now...i have just left school a month ago i think and now i have an insanely long holiday im getting sick of. You know that feeling you get when your just in the middle of your summer holidays and you just wish, wow i wish i was back at school. Its that feeling but 10 times longer. I have nothing to do with my life, actually i have no life. All i do is get up at 12, go on xbox, get something to eat, masturbate then back on xbox, have dinner then have a late night. Im sick of it, i try to get something to do, i have joined a Gaming club, i have joined Army cadets. The gaming club is already getting lame. I really enjoy the Army cadets but i can only go once a week thanks to the club, but thing being is i don't know if i should quit the club as the rules are quite strict. I have alot of fun in cadets, shooting, and many other things, but i don't have many friends both in cadets and in life, they are either someone who don't care for me or false. My friends have dropped alot, as i have left behind the ones i hate. In cadets i have only managed to make 1 friend so far, a girl, she seems alright, nice girl, but shes neighbours with a girl that pretends to be your friend or girlfriend and im worried shes got the same personality and yet i have either got mive interest in her or mive romantic interest in her. Sometimes with the things i have done and think, i think im mentally unhealthy. and the thoughts of being locked in the padded room with a straitjacket and cold sceres me, i would rather be killed by the taliban rather than that, as there is no escape. I think the world is a horror able place now...war, racism, ism and all other isms. Corrupt governments, disability's and so on. I have been told the story of soldiers fighting many times, i am happy they like doing what they are doing, go for it, although the war on terror cannot be won, so all the mive tax's the government are charging are going to waste. I acculty wanted to join the army for the adventure, death doesn't annoy me at all. But i cant join because my bad eyesight, acne, and unfitness also the lifestyle, i don't want to go running everyday to pay for something i want to do, to me the army's a wonderful place, but i cant. Speaking of jobs, im screwed, just got out a school, rubbish grades and i think DEAL WITH IT *** HOLE! But that changes nothing. There's barley any good paying jobs around and nearly none around. My child benefits will be cut soon and i'll have no support of any kind. Some times when i think of this i think i should join the riots. THIS IS NOT ENOUGH! Everyday its the same dark day, i see my girlfriend every week end and all i think about is and she says its your hormones saying to repopulate, that could be true, or am i just a piece of trash. In a way i am trash. I have no friends nor perfection that will help me, the only thing im good at is painting little figures, that's not going to get money in nowadays. Yet im not proper Professional, im close tho. There's nothing to do in my town and im down on my cash. I normally just think its easier to p away. None of this c**p to deal with. I just give up entirely. And to me, there's no such thing as a good. Im not happy at all, where is he. I just feel like throwing everything away like it doesn't matter to me anymore... Funnily enough i just want to be left alone, that's all i do, im in my room all alone 24/7. I like talking to digital people, but im not interesting enough. When i talk to people in real, i answer or talk to fast that it says to them...well i don't know, something bad tho. Like my friend in cadets, i did it to her, i got more comfortable now so im doing it less but i don't want to mess it up...as shes the only friend i got in cadets.